Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Summer Love Affair to Remember

My love life has never been this screwed up. By that I mean like hopeless, tragic and horrible just as you can begin to imagine. Arrgh. 

Alright. So, this is the story. My boyfriend of three years, almost four, broke up with me seven months ago now. Yesss! You've read that right. He was the one who left me crying my heart out behind. :'( So perhaps you might understand now why I am and my love life were all messed up! But not just that. I have this friend, a high school classmate, who turned out to be the closest guy friend among our barkada, whom I fell in love with. Madly in love with, if I may say. :P He's not that sweet but enough to make you feel "kilig" and so special. He's a perfect gentleman and has a heart as BIG as you can imagine. And, he's funny, too. He has this sweet smile you can't resist of seeing. The problem was, I guess, things happened just too fast. Everything was not falling into their right places as what it was supposed to. Plus, I think it was more of lack of communication. Yeah. That's what more likely it was. I talk and explain too much; he doesn't. I was like more open to him and he's the reserved type. I hate to say it, but I think I sort of nagged him. Hahaha. Nevertheless, I can honestly say that we get along just beyond fine. Even when we were just friends back then. We were so happy. No love-language barriers(just yet). No gaps. Nothing but genuine feelings of friendship. Until one day, everything has changed. We became an item. He and I became "WE". US. And, we were happy, too. I was way too happy that time that I didn't even consider things like we're friends and nothing should go beyond that friendship. But I took the chance. I chose to be happy because I hell deserve that!

However, things didn't work between us. I guess sometimes things doesn't work because they just simply don't. No explanations needed. And since I don't want to be pushy, I just let things befall and let fate or destiny, or whichever, decides for us. He didn't do anything in return anyway, so I figure out that maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Still, I believe that he loved me back but not as much as I did loved him though. No.. not 'did' coz' I still do love him until now. Like really. Coz' last time I checked, I texted him on his birthday, greeted him and made myself clear about me loving him still. Yeah. Nuts, I know? That's bravery and love talking there. I still haven't recovered from the things that transpired between us. It happened too fast I didn't even noticed it was the end of US.

I'm here now, wondering what could/would have been. What if I told him that I wanna stay and fight for our relationship. Because what I felt that night when I heard him for the first time telling me that he loves me, was the real thing I've ever heard from him. It's too late now after all. As much as I wanted to regret things, I couldn't. And I wouldn't. Coz' frankly, that was the most exciting summer love affair of my life. I wanna remember those days I spent with him. Those days that we were just having fun, laughing and just enjoying each other's company. Those days where he would sent me home and kiss me goodbye. Those days that I caught myself smiling when I picture him on my head smiling towards me. Those days where all I wanna do was to sit right next to him and enjoy a conversation just about anything under the sun. Those days where he would hold my hand, hug me and look at me with much love, care and sincerity in his eyes. Those days where I'm so excited to wake up and look forward to seeing him before the day ends. And, those days where I would just read and read and read his text messages with an "i love you" at the end of each messages he sent me.

I wanna remember all those coz' those.. those are the things I know for sure will not gonna happen twice. :'(

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